I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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