Your face is a jimmy john
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
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