your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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