No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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