thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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