Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize