I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
