you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
where am i from again
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
