haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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