I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
