Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
