I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
