so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
ok first of all what the fuck
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