he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
