Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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