Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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