So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
