I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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