I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
