your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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