i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
