In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
