Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
