I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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