Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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