I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize