He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
