Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
