one two three fourrrrnication!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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