I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
