why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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