i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
