what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
