Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize