Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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