i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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