She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
