her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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