Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
