He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
