you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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