I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
