Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
