actually, I'm a sock model
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize