Soap is not a condiment
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
try to milk me bitch
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