you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
