I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
