of course. lets lasso hookers.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
