i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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