I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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