Duck Duck Cougar?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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