How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
