Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
