found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
