We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She bit a glass in half.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
