why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
