Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
