STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize