i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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