Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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