You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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